I arrived at Kai Tak airport at 5 pm on the tuesday after a 16 hour flight from Gatwick, I immediately noticed as soon as the aircraft doors opened the definite pong from the nearby sewer as well as the humidity, met by Jim Brady my new boss, we were taken to our married quarter in Tudor Court (Broadcast Drive). I was allowed the rest of the week off, but had to check in on the thursday, rather fortunate as some guys had to start work the next day depending where you worked and the time of year. I remember being advised to stay awake as long as possible as this would make it easier to deal with jet lag and the time difference. However, the following morning at 4 am we were all up having breakfast and had unpacked all the mfo boxes by lunchtime. My work place was on the 2nd floor in the main stores building (all gone now), it was a constant 27 degrees centigrade and no air conditioned office unlike all the other departments, even the civilian staff found the conditions draining, Mr Yuen and my other staff were very loyal and dedicated, I'll never forget their devotion and work ethic, they spoke everyday about 1997 and the handover back to China, I really felt for their future.

I had the usual lecture from Major Norris, don't drink too much alcohol, keep fit, blah blah blah ZZZZzzzzzzzz, however I did try running after a couple of weeks and lasted exactly 11 minutes, my first football match a 2 pm kick off, I was glad of the half time whistle, this was not going to be easy (naive or what?). So I decided to run in to work most days and have a swim to cool off before going to work, later more footy training with a former Heavy Drop lad Duncan Lietch, who practiced what he preached, one tough guy. I also bumped into Alan (Scouse) Schiller, Dave Davies and Steve (Wurz) Phelps also ex heavy drop, still as crazy as ever. Steve just couldn't stay out of trouble, the South China Morning Post entry, whilst being questioned by PC Wong (Or other) for being drunk, "Sgt Phelps proceeded to urinate into the police officers pocket", suppose that's one way to get your name in the paper. Blackdown Barracks was situated in San Po Kong, Ping Fong (army camp) opposite the airport, a very busy part of Kowloon, the standing joke was the name of the street and no it's not swearing, it's the actual name (King Fuk Street). I heard regular horror stories from the chinese soldiers (Hong Kong Military Service Corps) about big Mick Priestly when he was there the first time, he used to wait at one of the main entrances whilst the chinese were very keen to avoid him watching the other, he scared them, well he was a big bloke.

Wonga the mess barman said Mick came into the mess one day and was feeling pekish, but no food was available at that time, so Mick decided to do a spot of fishing from the aquarium and downed some tropical delights, he was rather poorly after that. The mess staff were great, always on the ball with copious amounts of tea before starting work or after training, and were quick to remind mess members to order their meals when on duty, Wonga was a smart guy, had loads of kids, some went to private schools, still don't think he had a television though. Duncan Leitch attended a regimental dinner and was found 3 days later minus cumerbund and dickie bow lying on a bench at Kowloon Public Pier, he did get to have a private room in the mess and a personal interview with Jim Keating without Tea / Bikkies.

At the end of my first week at work there was a happy hour in the mess (it was much more than an hour!) and I was introduced to San Miguel, this has known poisons in it, I never did have a high tolerance to beer and was just a bit worse for wear. I thought it would be a good idea to walk home, approx 1 1/2 miles, not such a good idea after all, I got lost in San Po Kong doing the rounds, getting home 2 hours later and soaked with sweat. Taxi drivers were a group of people whose sole purpose in life was to make lots of money whilst listening to the local radio to learn English, oh, and their personal habits left a lot to be desired often cursing dozy pedestrians for dithering whilst remaining impervious to insults from other drivers, also having a conversion chart because the meter readings were always conveniently changing!!. Eating out was very convenient, the usual McDonalds was handy and air conditioned too, however, eating opposite some of the locals could be a bit off putting, with their mouths open, talking and eating at the same time.

Stonecutters Island - Before My Time

A small Rattan factory opposite where we lived (Tudor Court) had dogs who when hungry would eat each other causing a racket usually at 5 am, yes, the locals do eat dogs (Chinese Mutton) chows being a special delicacy, guess who doesn't like chinese food??. We employed the services of an amah (Cleaner) her name was Aquai, they knew who was just posted in so were quick off the mark, however she managed to smash a large standing fan and a viking doll I purchased in Norway (apparently the wind blew them over), I gave her the red card (so did a few other married pads). Next came Anoi, she was great, confident and even took our laundry off the line if it was raining when it wasn't our turn, could sense when she'd been in, a real star! think she wore the trousers in her home, so come chinese new year we rewarded her with Lai Si (Lucky Money). The Chinese give money inside red envelopes which are decorated with lucky symbols or Chinese characters, these are known as 'Lai Si' or 'Hung Bao'. Some of the ahma's used to congregate in the married quarters area for a break, I got home one day and a small group were all huddled and squatting around a cheesboard, they had this poor frog spread eagled ready for their lunch, mmm yummy, Kermit wasn't looking very pleased to say the least, poor froggy had seen better days, unfortuntely this was going to be his last!!.

I was nominated as assistant mess treasurer and spent burning the midnight oil a few times checking the bills, one time the stores department were having their xmas drinks in the Traffic department, with all the chinese civvie's enjoying the food and drink, but as soon as the Martell was gone so were they, the military lads all went over to the junior rank's club, where my boss Terry Brooks was the worse for wear. I volunteered to go for a taxi and went staggering outside the main gate, so away we went dropping off the lads round their quarters, but when I got close to home I realised I'd left the mess members bills and books in my holdall in the junior rank's club. So only one thing for it, back to camp (Ping Fong) got there, no good I'd lost the books/bills and was well in the Poo, so I got back home fearing the worst, snag is by then I didn't have enough money to pay the taxi driver, later payed a well P***** off driver. I fell asleep on the sofa, later the mess books appeared miraculously, apparently Ned Kelly the downstairs neighbour had brought them home, but took his time returning them to me, guess he had a good old gander at which mess members were not paying their bills. I considered myself very lucky to be working in San Po Kong, we had all the amenities close at hand, including the local factories, where we could browse through the goods / products on site, most of it was cheap, there was even a factory guide published specially. Although the state of most of these factories was a bit iffy, i.e. the lifts were well worn, some controls / buttons missing and the whole thing rattled like hell, health & saftey was very laxed here and that's an understatement.

Video's of Life in Honkers - Vid's a bit grainy being over 28 years old !!

The annual summer camp was at Erskine Camp approx 20 minutes drive from San Po Kong, the place was dilapidated, corrugated spider huts, some actually standing up!!, the rooms were very spartan, each bed had just the mattress and a mozzy net with big holes in (the mozzies must have been on steroids), the point being once the mozzies got inside the net, you were meal of the day (Dim Sum). The cookhouse had that musty smell about it, the food not much different, I remember seeing a large sugar bowl placed in an even larger dish of water, apparently the ants can't swim, but at least you can have soggy sugar with freeze dried milk on your cardboard flavoured cornflakes. The activities were all designed to be fun, with a competitive spirit, even dragging drums full of coloured water over obstacle courses (in NBC kit), me accidentally kicking a chinese lad in the head whilst climbing over the framework of a 4 tonne vehicle, you should have seen him move after that. At night there was a bar set up with the usual cards and games, but that got a bit boring, so after the BBQ, Sandy Baxter and John Kirby decided to have a belly flopping competition until some other miscreant (Can't think who!!) hosed the place down with the fire hose (this was seawater!!).

COD entered a team for the local Dragon Boat races, we trained a few times a week (Bit of a skive really), near the Sai Kung penninsular. Come the day of the competition we saw our boat being returned to the start line, it was being bailed out by some local, the water was over the centre of the boat, guess he was trying to bail out the south china sea!!, unbelieveable ?, NO, I believed what I saw. Some of the locals cheated, the night before they would sneak into the boatyard and nail tin cans to the underside of their opponents boats to create drag and slow them down. As all of us who volunteer'd for the race got to row, unfortunately after approx 100 meters we went into submersible mode, with us all hanging onto the upturned boat, the local marine police stopped us clambering aboard their tiny vessel, all I could see was ID cards, flip flops and drinks cartons floating away. All good fun, but no photo's, bummer!!. The regimental dinners in the mess were fun too, I remember Sandy Baxter getting pi**ed, I was Mr Vice and ended taking (carrying) him home, his misses didn't say a word, he was in tears next time I saw him, petticoat government I think, however I did meet Sandy again in Germany, he was at Krefeld, 40 Army Engineer Support Group, his son Brian fancied our Katie, so kept a close eye on him.

Ron Foster was the senior member in the mess, we knew each other at 3 BAD, we were due to go to Borneo to navigate our way down Low's Gully, but with all the running I did and the state of the pollution in the colony I became quite ill, contracting Pneumonia so lost quite a bit of weight and couldn't go on exercise Jungle Heights. Ron phoned me at home, then later came out to speak to me in person, he was sympathetic, but explained that I would jeopardize the expedition. My boss Bill Arrowsmith took my place, I wasn't bitter really, but had to laugh when their mission failed, I re named it exercise "Bungled Heights", definitely not bitter, not me. I wouldn't mind but by the time they (Team) went I was fit again. What really galled me was when I received a phone call from the Military Hospital informing me of my chest X-ray results, the medic told me to go home to bed or end up in hospital, so I immediately informed my boss Terry Brookes, who then rang the hospital to confirm that I was ill!!. Approximately 5 weeks later the unit held an inter departmental swimming competition, he (Brookes) asked why I wasn't competing?, I reminded him (stating the bleed'n obvious) I'd lost quite a bit of weight and was still recovering, I'd tried breathing water (Pneumonia) which isn't healthy, so I sure as hell wouldn't be swimming in the stuff anytime soon. Unfortunately I would have the displeasure of meeting him again, see 12 Ord Coy Page.

We arranged a footy match against the crew of the QE2 which was docked at Ocean Terminal, we were invited for a vist, I saw Ron Foster, Major Livingstone (AO) and the match ref, but, all visitors were asked to depart, somehow I got invited on by a passenger, Ron and the others didn't !!, they looked well hacked off, their faces were a picture, the AO gave me some grief the following morning, "Don't say a word" , I said he wouldn't have enjoyed the caviar anyway.

Some years later (1994) Ron Foster (TA Major) and Major (later Lt Col) Robert Neill attempted this venture again, but was nearly their undoing, getting lost and split up, so it was nearly the end for them until they were rescued. I wasn't surprised that a year later a book appeared written by Robert & Ron. SOS, story of the disastrous attempt of the decent of Low's Gully. The Daily Mail Story.

Gunung Kinabalu is also popular for its Low's Gully. In February, 1994, a party of ten British and Hong Kong soldiers, under Lieutenant Colonel Robert Neill, attempted to penetrate the the impenetrable, forbidden place. From the beginning, the expedition was ripped apart by personality clashes, suspicion and elitism, as if the gully exerted an evil influence on the intruders from the start. What was to be an adventure of a lifetime, became a journey into hell. The villagers surrounding Mount Kinabalu believe the mysterious Low's Gully in the center of the mountain is inhabited by the spirits of their dead. It is a forbidden place they never dared enter.The few others who had dared never returned. Hemmed in by impenetrable jungle and strewn with gigantic boulders and huge waterfalls, the gully can be reached only by climbing the 14,000-foot mountain and then descending into the unknown. In retrospect I consider my self lucky? I didn't go there in 1983!!.

One thing Jim Keating (CO) insisted on was that everyone should complete the Maclehose Trail 62 miles (100 Km's) from Pak Tam Chung east of the new territories to Tun Mun in over 3 days, I did this 4 times. The Walk was done in 3 Stages, travelling from East to West, First Stage, Second Stage, Third Stage. The last time I did this was with Mick Kemble, not the fittest bloke but a real tryer, our 2nd stop was at Lead Mine Pass (Needle Hill - certainly sorted out the men from the boys), we were all a bit stiff and creaky (Mick was in bits). After we had sorted ourselves out, the admin team came out with the Beer (Anaesthetic) and BBQ kit for a good old knees up (I don't think so). We were sat round this park bench/table swapping tales of the days events when two of the lads became suspicious of something under the table, "Fu**ing Snake", well, stiff or not everyone bolted including Mick who suddenly forgot about his aching limbs, knocking me out of his escape route, the tw*ts.

Exercise Trailwalker was a 2 day event over the same route, we practiced this in stages, one night we went through a village on the coastline and stopped for a brew in a local village, strange how these out the way places just happen to have Mars Bars and other goodies?, wurz started howling with laughter, apparently these 2 dogs were trying to separate this cat's head from it's tail. The team consisted of Dave Davies, Wurz, Bob Reid and myself representing COD, on the actual day however, Bob dropped out halfway, Wurz later collapsed on Needle Hill so I had to put him in a vehicle, he was ill with the heat, humidity and alcohol (it doesn't mix Steve). So we needed one of our admin staff to make up the numbers (min of 3), this guy also dropped out just before the finish, but luckily after the last secret checkpoint, Dave and Me finishing in 22 hours 10 minutes. Unlike those cheating REME & Ghurka's.

Later COD entered a team for a non infantry military skills competition run by the Gurkha's in the new territories in Sek Kong, Gallipoli Lines (pronounced Garripory Rines!), we won, hey yes, but then this culminated guarding the Chinese border, our team were located at Sha Tau Kok. Our minder, a Gurkha soldier refused to sleep, telling us to watch for wild dogs as this was a rabies infected area, this lad lived / worked here so we listened to his every word, he was nervous!!, he obviously heard about the anti rabies jab. It was odd watching chinese families running up and down a jetty on the chinese side leading out over the harbour, at 2 am in the morning I thought I was seeing things, as it turned out these were what's known as aiders and abettors, with us watching them, the Illegal Immigrants (II's) would then take there chance and swim away from the fishing boats as the tide rose, very clever idea. I have to say these Gurkha soldiers are very courageous men, highly motivated and loyal and should be allowed to stay in the UK. http://www.gurkhajustice.org.uk/

It was decided that the Chinese soldiers of the Hong Kong Military Service Corps (HKMSC) should re badge to the Ordnance Corps, we were all on parade, Lt Col Jim Keating was the CO, the chinese lads were under the control of the Chinese CSM, they were to march forward, halt, then go through the process of re badging, but one slight snag, the CSM gave the wrong words of command (the troops didn't respond) and the CSM (Keith Wong) ended marching on his own, oh dear how sad never mind, had to do it all again, er... with the troops this time. Brings a whole new meaning to the military phrase TEWT!. (Training Exercise without Troops).

We had some odd characters working in Blackdown Barracks, military & civvy, there was the nutter working for Jimmy Gilfillan, this nutter had been moved around all the various deprtments like a civil servant with the pox, after he'd done the rounds he was eventually transfered to ASD on Stonecutters Island (Ammo Depot), what were they thinking?. He was later moved back to Blackdown, he used to buy food for all & sundry, even giving Lai Si money to Jim Keating (CO), he (nutter) chased his fellow employee's with a kettle of boiling water, his final act was to wander into the tyre bay, switch off the lights and look for one of the chinese senior NCO's with an Axe!!, the local cops were called in to take this guy away, it wasn't to treat this nutter with CHOP Suey!!.

Major Holmes (SSO) was like a fish out of water here in Honkers, he was more a country gent, great guy with a dry sense of humour, he noticed on Monday morning that the local moggy's had crapped everywhere inside the buildings, apparently traps were laid, but the civvies freed them and fed them. Smoke bombs were strategically placed around the site, but that just gave TC and the rest of the moggy's Diarrhoea. So the major got permission from the local plods to go around at the weekend with a remmington shotgun to sort out that problem, moggy didn't wander long!.

Dave Hammond was posted in, he was replacing Andy Brigham as warrant officer (REME), Andy drove to Kai Tak airport to pick up Dave and his family, Andy got chatting and said "Hi, I'm Andy" Dave replied "I'm Mr Hammond, you can call me Sir" !! Oooops. Later during his tour Dave went out with the lads for a session around Kowloon, they ended up in Bottoms Up bar, nice place????, Dave got the usual treatment, he got home with lipstick on his collar!!, his missus wan't best pleased, How's the song go??, "There maybe trouble ahead", (Dennis Potter).

In November 1983 we had a new arrival, Louise, we'd been trying for a few years, Katie felt a bit left out but we made sure she got involved as much as possible. Before Louise was born Lee's friends (chinese teachers) all came to our flat to pray for a boy, sounded like a chicken factory, but was appreciated very much all the same. Jim Keating's replacement was a bloke called Baines, he was a bit of a Pain!!, his attitude to the soldiers was indifferent, but fussed over the local Chinese civvie's. We had an interdepartmental six a side cricket competition, I was bowling against Col Baines, unfortunately I gave him a bouncer which ricocheted off his forearm and hit his jaw, well he went one way, the bat the other, there was an almighty fuss, Tom Bunting telling me to go easy, John Bolton just about kept a straight face, ok, next ball was nice and slow "That's better Sgt Broughton" he said, nah, next one took out his middle stump, he was NOT! impressed at all. When S.Sgt Bill Arrowsmith & WO2 Sammy Samuels lost their ID cards on celebrating Chinese new year, Baines had them both marched in front of him (CO's Orders) this was well over the top, all they had to do was go to HQBF HMS Tamar and explain with costs for replacement cards. I did meet Col Baines in the Falklands in 1986, he remembered my bowling!!.

We often received Typhoon warnings, i.e. storm signal 3 prepare to go home, on signal 8 go home, or stay at home, we were assembled in the traffic department where Terry Brooks gave the warning about impending storm heading our way (it was a clear blue sky!!), "we hope to get everyone away by 3 pm", I found it amazing but not surprising that the chinese sometimes couldn't understand English, their reaction was unremarkable, "Hey 3 pm finish work, great" more a case of selective amnesia. On 6th & 7th Sept 1983 we had the pleasure of Typhoon Ellen. It was a Friday when we got hit (Storm signal 10), so I taped up the windows and slept in the hallway. I was meant to be on duty the next day (Saturday) but wasn't too fussed if I couldn't get to camp, the off going orderly officer Andy Murray would be well impressed. On getting into camp the place was a mess, there wasn't much the disaster reaction team could do, they had to walk to camp (not happy!) as all civvy transport was out of action. Round about the same time there was a lot of undesirables congregating at the bottom of Nathan Road near Tsim Sha Tsui (try saying that after a few San Mig's), all the gold shops in that part of Kowloon were being ransacked, the riot police were being pelted, even from above the shops people were dropping all sorts of missiles (portable TV's!!). The police commissioner came on the tele advising people not to venture down that way, when I finished duty had to walk home, Sammy Samuels walked very quickly too. I never understood why when Typhoon's were a safe distance away they were given men's names, then when they (typhoon's) got too close for comfort it was given a women's name??.

More Typhoon Helen Photo's

As part of service life in the colony we were allowed more or less a free holiday, that is a leave scheme paid for by the Hong Kong Government, most married personnel went to Thailand, Pattaya in particular, we went to Pattaya (Butlins) Hotel Tropicana for 2 weeks, had a great time, loved the place.

3 months later I was posted to Germany (Ordnance Services Viersen) which is what I wanted anyway. Hong Kong had a big effect on me, I couldn't fathom out seeing some of the richest & poorest people in the world living sometimes within 50 yards of each other, I found that hard to take in. Whilst shopping I saw a lot of counterfeit goods, (Yes I bought some), in the middle of one transaction (Nathan Road) I Handed over money to a street vendor for sports clothing which I knew were fake, but what the hell, from nowhere a policewoman appeared, she never said a word just stared at the female saleswoman, the vendor covering up her wares then moved her barrow some 2 yards before continuing the sale, by this time the police officer was invisible, suppose she was just doing her job enforcing the local laws, but only just!!. I used to shop on the Island along Chateau Road, quite often the market vendors would allow me to take the goods and try them on in McDonalds, £4 for a pair of jeans!!. Some of the Army lads sent home boxes (MFO type) full of knocked off clothing (counterfeit) and other goodies.

Leaving Hong Kong was strange, after 2 years there I had some great times, but was glad to be going back to Germany (Viersen), some of my mates came to see me off at Kai Tak airport. I bought a bottle of Snake Wine as a leaving pressy, I first wrapped the bottle in tissue paper so they (unsuspecting friends) were unable to see the contents, they loved the taste, until I removed the tissue paper, it was a FULL bodied wine!!, the bottle contained gutted Newts, Lizards & Frogs, well that did raise a few comments, it was the least I could do for some very special friends!! Stu Smith, Mick Kemble and Mick Taylor. Mick Taylor took the bottle home and did the same thing to a few specially chosen victims!!.

I always think it's a bit ironic, my first posting after basic training was to Bicester living in HQ Company's Kowloon block (1972), and every year my posting preferences always had Hong Kong near the top of my wish (dream) list, then 10 years to the month I'm actually in Kowloon, Hong Kong (1982), I would like to go back just for personal reason's, someday maybe. Much of the former colony has changed, Blackdown Barracks has gone Click here to see what's in it's place.

After Heavy Drop this was my second best posting even if I didn't like chinese food!!, I was never too keen on Chinese Mutton (wuff wuff).

Now on to Viersen and sunny Moenchengladbach

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